“Music is alive and is all around me, my part is only to pluck it out of the air and attempt to capture it.”
Creating music, for me, is a source of self. It is the source of my earliest memories, my youngest self. It has been and continues to be the air I breathe, the source of my being, and my muse. As a composer I do not create music, rather I believe I am attuned to music as an external entity in the universe. This bond allows me to compose and creates a desire to share my experience with others. I firmly believe that music is more than just creation or craft, more than notes on paper or sounds programmed into a sequencer. When music is real, when it is REALLY happening, it is magic. It is pure, honest, and it is beautiful.
I believe that there is a connection to the soul when we are truly experiencing music for what it is. There are many words that can be used to express the emotions that can be evoked; joy, passion, sadness, rage, the list goes on and on. How can I sit at a page of manuscript and craft emotion? How can anyone manufacture feelings? I simply don’t believe it is possible. I compose music. Compose is defined as “write or create” (a work of art, especially music or poetry). So much so that I crave it, it motivates me, it is at the center of my being, and as a result not only do I need to be open to music and. And as such I educate. I strive to learn more about the tools of music composition, so that when I am inspired, when that symbiotic relationship takes hold, I don’t miss a note and I am able to catch pieces of it just as if I were snatching fireflies out of the air on a night when I chanced upon them, and capture them in my jar where I can share them with the world.
I have always felt akin to music, at early ages I would sing songs such as “You are my Sunshine” and “Little Toy Trains”, I would sing to my family, and to my toys. I had a record player at an early age in my bedroom that was a source of many hours of happiness for me and I can remember plunking away at my grandmothers’ piano as a very small child. My relationship with music began at a very young age. Throughout my years and my aspirations to learn and develop my skills, I have had a fantastic journey. I have experienced many genres and styles of music; attended the Opera in Moscow, experienced gorgeous symphonic performances, and performed in countless rock concerts and jazz performances. However, I have come to the realization that my true passion lays in the classical and symphonic styles. I crave that type of music more than any other. I feel like I’m very in-tune to that style of music. To me this is music in its purist form. It is the perfect marriage of craft and magic. When all the stars connect, and all of the players are attuned to the music around him or her there is no other place in the universe that I would rather be, I get carried away on a cloud, or dragged to the bottom of the ocean clamoring for breath. Music takes me on fantastic journeys and amazing adventures when I allow myself to be open to it. As a composer this is what I strive to create, not music itself, but rather to create the true experience of music realized.
I was once asked to define the relationship between art and truth. I stated that I felt that “true” art was experience. Experience is the essence of who we are. It is what makes us the sum of our parts. As an artist it is my desire to connect with my art and ultimately
with my audience. I believe that if I can achieve that momentary glimpse into the eternal than I will truly have created something meaningful. It is my hope as a composer to be able to relate my experience in my compositions, and although I may or may not experience greatness in my lifetime, if I can achieve that one brief moment, I will truly have experienced.